Thankful and Blessed

It's been three weeks since I last blogged; five weeks since Heidi's untimely death and four weeks since my husband's untimely heart attack. The time has flown by with many good times, along with several days of feeling down in the dumps. The depression I'm fighting is not from one or two events but a culmination of situations over the last 2-3 years. But I began blogging as a form of therapy, so long as I can push myself to stay motivated to write. It's very hard some days.

My goal is to focus on the positive and the many blessings in my life. I have much to be thankful for. First and foremost is my Jesus. I'm so unworthy of His mercy and grace and yet He continues to love me. Second is good health - at least for now. I can easily look around and find someone who has cancer or some other horrible condition; or their kids or grandkids are ill. Third - my immediate family - husband, kids and grandkids - the loves of my life, which is what gets me through each and every day. Fourth are my wonderful friends - they are my prayer partners and scrapbooking buddies. Fifth is the job that allows me to bring a steady income into the household and help pay for the roof over my head (#6), the food in my belly (#7), the clothes on my body (#8), and the car that I drive (#9). Number 10 is the medical insurance, which will cover most of the expenses we'll incur because of my husband's heart attack. The list is endless, but thinking about these first 10 blessings has placed me in a better frame of mind.

Now on to the subject I love to talk about most (besides scrapbooking, of course) - my grandkids. My husband and I spent the Saturday before Father's Day with our daughter and son-in-law in St. Louis. While my son-in-law barbecued, I was able to spend time with my grandson, Brayden while he played outside in his pool. Brayden will be 2 yrs. old in July and he is talking really well. Instead of saying uh-oh when something happens, he says, "Oh, no!" He puts a great deal of emphasis on the phrase and it's just the cutest! I'm posting one of my favorite pictures of him from that day.

My number 2 grandson, Trevor is now 3 months old. It seems like the wait for him took forever, and now here it is, 3 months after his birth. He has the cutest dimple (just one) when he smiles and he's found his voice, so he's "talking" on a regular basis. Take a look at those big eyes.

Last, but not least, is our little princess, Taylor. She competed this week for Miss Toddler in our local fair. She didn't win, but she did a great job and looked so cute. In this picture, she's trying to show me her curtsy.

Normal, Yet Not Normal

It's been 2 weeks since we lost Heidi, and it's been 1 week since my husband's heart attack. Yet, as I sit here this Sunday evening, it somehow seems as if these 2 events happened long ago. It feels normal, yet not normal. My husband acts as if nothing happened and is up and out the door early every morning. If something's bothering him or if he's contemplating this latest episode, he's certainly not letting me in on it. I had a meltdown Thursday morning, and in speaking with my Pastor and his wife, had to turn my husband's health and his seeming lack of concern over to the Lord. I cannot change my husband and he has the free will to make his own choices, and instead of letting it bring me down and stress me out, I have to let it go. I have 2 jobs outside of my role as a wife that demand my attention, therefore, I need to take care of myself.

In the midst of all the chaos this last week, however, was precious, quality time spent with our children and grandchildren. My almost 2-yr. old grandson, Brayden is talking so much now and I love to hear him speak. He's definitely all boy and so full of energy. My 4-yr. old granddaugter, Taylor spent the day with me yesterday, "working" with me at the store. I had a hard time getting her to leave because she was having too much fun scrapbooking; hence, another "scrap addict" has become hooked. My 10-week old grandson, Trevor has found his feet and is learning how to use his hands. Oh, the miracle of these little gifts from God...

The best news over the last week was that my oldest son, Seth proposed to his girlfriend, Trista after 5 years of dating. He has one more year of college, and we were all sure he'd wait until he graduated to pop the question, but he surprised all of us. Congratulations Trista and Seth; and I'm sorry that your excitement was overshadowed by Bing's heart attack. Love you both!

As I sit here blogging and surfing the net, I'm enjoying a bowl of popcorn and bummed that Heidi is not here to share it with me. The house feels so empty now when I'm here by myself. Just me, myself and, well... me. I never realized how much of a comfort she was to me.

Hope everyone who reads this has a wonderful, blessed week.

The Worst Is Over; Or Is It?????

It's Tuesday evening and my husband's on the road to recovery. The Dr. called in a team yesterday, Memorial Day, to perform the cardio cath procedure on him; instead of waiting until today. One of his arteries was 98-99% blocked, but they were able to put in a stint to open up the artery. His other arteries looked good, so there was no need for additional stints or by-pass surgery. Hallelujah, Praise the Lord!! Thanks to everyone who prayed for us.

So the worst part is over; or should be. However, my husband is diabetic and LOVES to eat. He checks his blood sugar daily, but does not monitor what he eats. The Dr. has him on a diabetic diet in the hospital, and it has made him less than happy to say the least. The dietician came to see us today and gave him a reality check on serving sizes and foods that contain carbohydrates, which is the #1 item diabetics need to control. I have a feeling my life is going to be quite interesting the next several months as I try to change our eating habits and what food is available in the house. My husband is a big man, works sunup til sundown, and lives for meat, potatoes and sweets. And NOT the recommended portions - more like 3-4 times the recommended portions, which he thinks is normal.

Just think - a HUNGRY man who thinks he's STARVING to death if he doesn't eat every 3 hours. I'm afraid the worst part is just beginning....

Wow! What a Memorial holiday weekend this has turned out to be. My husband woke me up at 3am this morning with symptoms of a heart attack. I immediately jumped up and called 9-1-1. Apparently, he'd been up for an hour, and as the symptoms became worse and unbearable, he finally to wake me. We went through this scenario about 10 years ago when he was only 40. It was a potentially fatal heart attack, but luckily he was treated with "clot busters" early enough to avoid any residual heart damage. He recovered well enough, and has had heart checkups since; but as before, nothing "bad" or "positive" showed up on any diagnostic testing prior to the actual "attack."

My hubby's been stable all day long, with no recurring symptoms, and because it's a holiday weekend, the cardiologist scheduled his cardiac catheterization for Tuesday morning. I decided to come home to try and sleep for the night; however, I just got off the phone with the night nurse and his 3rd round of bloodwork shows a much higher elevation of cardiac enzymes. She called the cardiologist and they're moving up the cardiac cath procedure to tomorrow. I called my hubby to hear his voice and he sounds okay. But more than likely, my night will not be as restful as I hoped.

If you're reading this post, please say a prayer for me, my husband and our family that all will or has turned out well. God Bless...

I've Been Tagged!

Here are seven things you may or may not know about me:

1. I am a perfectionist/procrastinator - something I'm trying to break free of.
2. I didn't put up a Christmas tree in 2006, and it was soooo liberating!!
3. I hate to grocery shop.
4. I love Jesus, and want to share Him with others.
5. Whenever I travel to other towns, I love to pick up a local newspaper and read it.
6. I like a clean house, but I hate housework.
7. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

The rules: Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog!

Can't wait to check out your blogs!

Congradulations

This is what my 4-year old granddaughter, Taylor, called her "Graduation" ceremony that my husband and I went to watch this evening. Actually, she didn't "graduate" from the Montessori school; the 5-year olds did. But the 4-year olds participated in the ceremony and song presentation. Too funny! What a joy to watch the little guys. After the ceremony, refreshments were served. There was a sheet cake and then cupcakes for the "graduates." Taylor wanted a cupcake and was told she couldn't have one. Her heart was broken and she started sobbing; which in turn, broke my heart. I've posted a picture of Taylor just before the tears started.... How could anyone NOT give in to that face?

A Tribute to Heidi

Our family has had to accept the recent loss of a good friend. Our Sheltie, Heidi Mae Cook 'n Brand had to be put to sleep on Friday, May 18th, after spending 11.5 years in our lives. Heidi was a sweet, good-natured dog and a loyal friend to our children while they were growing up. Once the kids moved out, she followed me around from room to room and was always underfoot. And though it aggravated me at times, I miss her presence in the house. I either didn't realize or acknowledge how near and dear to my heart she had grown. The kids are crushed that she's gone, but they cherish the wonderful memories of her. Heidi went camping with us, "jumped" on the trampoline with the kids, and tolerated being dressed up at their whims. She didn't care though, as long as she was getting some attention. Heidi never met a stranger and loved people; visitors fell in love with her sweet nature and puppy face. She loved her treats and was a popcorn junkie. As soon as she heard it popping in the microwave, she took her position in the living room, waiting and watching. Every time our hand moved towards our mouth with a handful of the buttery snack, she'd look down at the floor to see if we dropped any, and pounce on it if you did. It was the funniest thing... The last couple weeks of her life, she was sick, but not suffering. However, she was going downhill fast and the vet finally diagnosed her with renal failure; her kidneys were shutting down. She lived such a good life and brought us much happiness and I couldn't bear the thought of her suffering through the final days of the disease. So I had to make the terrible and painful decision to have her euthanized. It has been a rough week, but I know Heidi's better off, even though the Bible says that dogs do not have souls. But I do know that God is aware of the pain and loss we're suffering. He created dogs and cats for a reason and He doesn't make mistakes. Thanks, Heidi for making our lives more enjoyable during your short time on this earth. The wonderful memories you've given us will be kept close to our hearts the rest of our lives. Time will lessen the pain, but you'll be missed more than you know.